I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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