She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize