Don't make out with my wife yet
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize