You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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