Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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