she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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