He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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