It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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