its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
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Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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