You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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