I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize