I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
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We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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