I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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