she takes plan B like it's going out of style
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize