So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize