Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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