I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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