I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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