I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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