yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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