so explain again why im purple
no
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My feet surprised me
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize