Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize