I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize