if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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