there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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