i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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