Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize