I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I would fuck him just for his dog
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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