In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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