you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
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I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
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Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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