How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize