He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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