even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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