Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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