i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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