remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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