Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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