Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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