he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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