i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize