i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize