im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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