I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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