Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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