he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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