Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
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Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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