I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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