fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize