you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
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When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
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I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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