Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.

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  (254): Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes. http://tfl.nu/elqh
  Replies (11) Good night (565) Bad night (5461) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.

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  (305): The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service. http://tfl.nu/dlye
  Replies (89) Good night (11247) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt

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  (708): I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt http://tfl.nu/chxg
  Replies (33) Good night (1212) Bad night (3270) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011

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  (919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011 http://tfl.nu/zxkw
  Replies (53) Good night (5691) Bad night (1054) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.

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  (785): last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator. http://tfl.nu/ifrq
  Replies (18) Good night (7384) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  probs a good idea

  (207): View more from Maine

  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  you sure you're not high?

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  (207): i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea (1-207): probs a good idea (207): i like the whole idea of life and being alive (1-207): you sure you're not high? http://tfl.nu/e7l1
  Replies (29) Good night (5671) Bad night (798)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.

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  (631): I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York. http://tfl.nu/aty3
  Replies (22) Good night (958) Bad night (3425) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7135) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.

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  (404): Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800. http://tfl.nu/a5yx
  Replies (15) Good night (2582) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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  (702): The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves (806): That's not technology. Doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/x0wz
  Replies (3) Good night (1559) Bad night (637)
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  (310): View more from California

  My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius

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  (310): My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius http://tfl.nu/fnfz
  Replies (7) Good night (1548) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.

  (757): View more from Virginia

  you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.

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  (703): I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes. (757): you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing. http://tfl.nu/fdil
  Replies (7) Good night (1726) Bad night (499)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.

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  (508): You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston. http://tfl.nu/25jx
  Replies (12) Good night (1101) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Sad Megan is Sad

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  Have you been drinking my beer?

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  (864): Sad Megan is Sad (1-864): Have you been drinking my beer? http://tfl.nu/x7xq
  Replies (5) Good night (839) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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  (360): ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5hyy
  Replies (9) Good night (1937) Bad night (337)

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